When I Am Weak....

Being a matured single lady can be hard especially if you have been married before. You miss companionship and it can be very lonely, nights especially. I struggled (and still do) very hard at the very early stage of my singleness (as a widow). I yearned for intimacy and wished things were back to how it was before, but obviously, that can only stay as a wish.

But as each day comes, I keep growing in the Lord. I remember my Father in the Lord, telling me that if it happens that I fall, I should pick myself up, confess and repent to the Lord and move on. Obvioulsy, the consequences of it is a setback in my walk with the Lord. But I will and should keep walking with the Lord.

I also have come to realise why it was very hard in my struggle in the early stage. I was trying to obey the law: "Do not fornicate", "Do not commit adultery". I was trying to do it in my power and strength.

Galatians 5:4

"For if you are trying to make yourselves right with God by keeping the law, you have been cut off from Christ! You have fallen away from God’s grace!"

I am understanding that it is my love for the Lord that can help me to receive the grace that He has made available for me and situations like this. I am made to bring pleasure to Him. My life is supposed to be pleasing in His sight. And that is my desire because I love Him. So why would I want to hurt somebody that I love or who loves me so much?

And with this revelational knowledge, every single time I feel overwhelmed with the struggle, I cry out unto Him. And this will make you laugh: I sing myself to sleep with songs like these:

"Hold me close, let your love surround me
Bring me near, draw me to Your side
And as I wait, I rise up like an eagle
And I will soar with You
Your Spirit leads me on
By the power of Your love"

"Leaning, leaning, safe and secure from all alarms
Leaning, leaning, leaning on the everlasting arms"

There was another one I sang the other day, but cannot remember. And everytime I talk about it or think about it, I laugh at myself, but thanking God for the abundance of grace at each moment that I cry out to Him.

And so, I am using this opportunity to encourage singles out there, matured, young or old; secure yourself in His love. Let God be real to you and in your singleness, you will find strength.
2 Corinthians 12:8-10

"Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

A Privileged Position

Every time I mention that I am a widow or my husband passed away not too long ago, the responses I get are "Oh!, Ah!, I am so sorry!, It is well with you!" On Facebook, I must not put anything related to being a widow or show any sign of downcasted, and I get prayers from nooks and corners of Facebook, in other words, the world.

I so appreciate the concerns of people and I am grateful, particularly for the ones that pray for me, some that I have not even met and maybe never meet face to face until we get to heaven.

A revelation came to me recently. This revelation was not what I did not know before. Immediately my husband passed away, it was sang into my hears from so many people. I remembered somebody saying that I should go and study about it, which I tried, but, I was too enveloped with, "Why is this happening to me/us?" I went on emotional roller coaster, from being angry to downhearted to extremely happy (to prove to people that I am not dispirited) and back to being angry.

I also joke about it to my friends and even when praying to God, I mention it to Him.

But something happened recently, and the revelation became real to me. I am part of a group in the bible school and we were supposed to contribute some money in the group. There are two couples in the group and I am the fifth person. The amount that was suppposed to be divided among us is just over £100. I got a text message from one of the members of the group that it has been divided into three families. I wanted to get angry because I thought it shouldn't be. We were not put into the groups as families but as individuals. So I will be paying 2 people's contribution. Then the Holy Spirit said I should leave it. I left it at that time, but it kept coming back. I believe the next morning, I checked the other groups to confirm that thought. I also wanted to call the Principal.

Then God started ministering to me. He said, "Am I not your husband? Is £38 pounds too much for me to split with you?"  And I thought, "What is £38 to you Lord? Nothing! You that hold the world in Your hands and I am like a speck in this world, yet, You are still mindful of me! Of course, You are my husband and the Father of the Fatherless, so Yes we are a couple!" And my eyes opened to another aspect of God. I see myself as the Lord's Belle; the Lord's Lady.

It is a privileged position to be. This blog is for all the widows out there. You are the wife of the Lord. The Lord is your husband. Look at some of the promises listed below that He has for you as a widow:

• “You shall not afflict any widow or fatherless child.  If you afflict them in any way, and they cry at all to Me, I will surely hear their cry!" ~ Exodus 22:22-23
• ‘Cursed is the one who perverts the justice due the stranger, the fatherless, and widow.’ “And all the people shall say, ‘Amen!’ ~ Deuteronomy 27:19
•  "A father of the fatherless, a defender of widows, Is God in His holy habitation" ~ Psalm 68-5
• "The LORD will destroy the house of the proud, But He will establish the boundary of the widow." ~ Proverbs 15:25
• “ Do not fear, for you will not be ashamed; Neither be disgraced, for you will not be put to shame; For you will forget the shame of your youth, And will not remember the reproach of your widowhood anymore." ~ Isaiah 54:4
• "Leave your fatherless children, I will preserve them alive; And let your widows trust in Me.” ~ Jeremiah 49:11
• "For your Creator will be your husband; the Lord of Almighty is his name! He is your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel, the God of all the earth." ~ Isaiah 54:5

So rejoice, wallow in your husband's goodness. Be encouraged because He will not leave you or forsake you. YOU ARE THE LORD'S WIFE!

Rebuild My Temple

"Why are you living in luxurious houses while my house lies in ruins?" ~ Haggai 1:4 (NLT)

If we all ponder on this scripture, in a way we can see ourselves in what the Lord is saying. Our focus is on how we can build our kingdoms and make ourselves and our families comfortable. We have been living a convenient life of Christianity, which shouldn't be. The Lord is saying it is enough!

Verses 5 and 6 shows exactly the state of where the body of Christ is. The Preachers have gone haywire with the prosperity message, but the more they preach it, the more lack is emphasised. Does that not show that there is something wrong somewhere? " You have planted much, but harvested little...."

The 'prosperity messages' have their place. Of course, the Lord wants His people to prosper as He said in 3 John 3:1-2:
"Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers."
But our heart, our motive is totally wrong. It is all about 'me' and 'my kingdom' instead of God and His Kingdom. Proverbs 17:20:
 "A bad motive can't achieve a good end;
   double-talk brings you double trouble." (Message Bible) 
Verse 13 of Haggai 2, "Then Haggai responded, “That is how it is with this people and this nation, says the Lord. Everything they do and everything they offer is defiled by their sin."

He instructed us in verse 7 to "go up into the hills, bring down timber.....", that is the work of our hands, our callings (Pastors, Doctors, Lawyers, Businessmen etc), " and rebuild my house".

Eccl: 9:10-11
Verse 10 - "Whatever you do, do well. For when you go to the grave, there will be no work or planning or knowledge or wisdom." 

The 'whatever' there is what God has called and purposed us to do. It is time to align ourselves to God's will and purpose for us. It is time to do God's work.That is what will save us from the economic depression that has been prophesied over and over again.

Chapter 2 of Haggai, verse 20:
“Tell Zerubbabel, the governor of Judah, that I am about to shake the heavens and the earth. I will overthrow royal thrones and destroy the power of foreign kingdoms. I will overturn their chariots and riders. The horses will fall, and their riders will kill each other."

Chapter 2 of Haggai, verses 6-9:
“For this is what the Lord Almighty says: In just a little while I will again shake the heavens and the earth, the oceans and the dry land. I will shake all the nations, and the treasures of all the nations will be brought to this Temple. I will fill this place with glory, says the Lord Almighty. "

But God assured His own people with these promises; the ones that stay in obedience by rebuilding His temple, the ones that says, "Your will O Lord is my will":
"I am giving you a promise now while the seed is still in the barn. You have not yet harvested your grain, and your grapevines, fig trees, pomegranates, and olive trees have not yet produced their crops. But from this day onward I will bless you.” Verse 19
^"The silver is mine, and the gold is mine, says the Lord Almighty. The future glory of this Temple will be greater than its past glory, says the Lord Almighty. And in this place I will bring peace. I, the Almighty, have spoken!” Verses 8 and 9
“But when this happens, says the Lord Almighty, I will honor you, Zerubbabel son of Shealtiel, my servant. I will make you like a signet ring on my finger, says the Lord, for I have chosen you. I, the Lord Almighty, have spoken!” Verse 23

Seek God for your calling, purpose and your positioning, watch and guard your heart and motive, and do the work of the Lord dilligently and faithfully!

Pulling the Crowd

This blog might not sit well with some people. But I'll obey the Lord as the Holy Spirit impresses it on me.

Most of us are familiar with Church events, from crusades, to conferences, worship nights/evenings, revival services, breakthrough services...etc.

We are also familiar with billboards, flyers, adverts on TV with the big names to create awareness for the program. And when you ask, “why are you bringing this 'big name' “, the answer is: TO PULL THE CROWD.

To be fair, some organisers of these events invite the big names because of the unction of the Holy Spirit on their lives. As the Bible says, in Ephesians 4:11-13:

"And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ, till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ;"

My question is why slap these big names and faces on the publication? Is the ‘crowd’ that we are trying to draw coming to meet the Lord or the 'big name'? Are these events Man-focused or God-focused? How come we don't trust the name of the Lord to pull the crowd? Is God’s name not enough to draw His people to a gathering? After all, He is the ALMIGHTY! Why can’t we TRUST THE NAME OF THE LORD? Why can't we obey the Master that sent us, (unless we are sending ourselves)?

We can see few times in the Bible how God will summon His people to come and meet Him in a particular place. Exodus 19 gives us an example of this event. Moses was told by God in verses 10 and 11 that He will be “coming down on Mount Sinai in the sight of all the people.” Moses did not have to ‘design’ how He would pull the crowd. He just told the Israelites exactly what the Lord said. I believe the people that were supposed to be there were there, because they feared the Lord. They came to meet the Lord and not Moses.

In the eyes of the world or Man, the bigger the crowd shows how successful the event is. But in the eyes of God, it is our motive and how obedient to His Word that He looks at.

1 Samuel 16:7
“But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the LORD does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” “


Obedience is the most important aspect of doing God’s work, not the work itself. We obey, and everything we fall exactly according to how He wants it, not how we want it!